Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Anxiety and Dehydration

Before I continue my life's story, please allow me to expound the bit on an earlier post.

Keep in mind that I am not a doctor, and that none of what I write here is medical advice, but I hope I can impart to you some knowledge that may help you in your struggle against anxiety or panic attacks.

I made a post in February entitled Anxiety and Alcohol.  In that post I explained the generalities of what I experienced earlier in my life while using alcohol as a crutch to deal with anxiety and panic attacks.

One of the main issues was that I was experiencing was anxiety the morning after consuming any considerable amount of alcohol. As a rule, this would include almost any morning.

Historically, any sensations that I considered a “hangover" would be run-of-the-mill headache, nausea, general jitters, and the like. Eventually, though, I began to experience feelings that were pure anxiety that would often trigger panic attacks.

After dealing with this phenomenon for several years, I had an acquaintance that mentioned to me that she experienced anxiety during hangover. At the time that this was brought up I was not usually experiencing anxiety during hangover's, but I did remember when I had a problem with that.

Fast forward...Some 10 years later, after experiencing a period of relative lack of anxiety, I began to have panic attacks while experiencing a hangover. I went through a period of about six weeks where I experienced may be three panic attacks a week and general anxiety almost daily. As it happens, I was also drinking a considerable amount every evening. I was not necessarily getting "drunk" but I was consuming an unhealthy amount of alcohol.

As I struggled to deal with my situation, I recalled my friends words. I realize that I was now experiencing what she was experiencing at the time.

Upon looking into the subject of hangovers, I discovered that hangovers are not very well understood, scientifically. They are, however, fairly well understood as a practical matter.

There are several imbalances in one's body that make up the whole of the hangover, but one of the biggest players is dehydration.

Now, as someone who has used alcohol not only as a crutch, but also as a party favor, I believe I can give you some insight on what it can do to your body.

Upon reading some material about alcohols affect on the body, I discovered quite a bit of information about dehydration. This hit home with me, because I knew how much dehydration I have experienced in the past while drinking alcohol.

Anyone who has consumed two beers and urinated out four beers in their first hour or two of drinking knows what I'm talking about. Alcohol tends to make your kidneys work on overdrive.

By the time you go to bed you've probably not had any real fluids for hours, but you've had plenty of alcohol this makes your system shed water right before you go to sleep. This, in turn, sets you up for considerable dehydration upon awakening.

Here is where it gets interesting. Dehydration is a very common contributor to anxiety.

What a perfectly inconvenient combination we have here. A person suffering from anxiety or panic attacks drinks alcohol in an attempt to get some relief. In turn, they cause themselves more anxiety and possibly another panic attack as a result of their alcohol consumption.

So, here is what you do not want to hear. Alcohol consumption is likely going to cause you more grief than relief.

Here is something that may be easier to digest. After you get a handle on mitigating your alcohol consumption, one of the easiest things you can do to help alleviate anxiety and panic attacks is to consume more water.

Many people nowadays are chronically dehydrated. This is not even taking into account the use of alcohol. In fact, roughly a third of the population is inclined to misinterpret thirst for hunger.

Since water plays such a major part in our bodies ability to function, it's not surprising that lack of water in our system would cause issues.

It seems almost too simple to suggest that drinking more water could have a positive effect on one's anxiety or panic attacks, but, indeed, it does play a significant role.

If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, I urge you to make an effort to consume more water during your day. This is not a cure-all, but it can definitely play a part in mitigating the frequency and severity of panic attacks and anxiety.  Not to mention, it's just plain good for you. 

I also urge you to check out Panic Away for a permanent  solution to panic attacks and anxiety.

Chris 

Sunday, March 6, 2011

More on Anxiety and Novelty

So, after about a year in the new condo, things started to unravel like a cheap sweater. We had been in pretty much the same “rut” of day in-day out routines for long enough that there wasn't anything at all interesting about life.

As I stated early on in my posts about our marriage in Colorado, we were never really in love. We were in “like” at best. Maybe its more accurate to say we were just familiar and there was a child involved that we would rather not leave with a broken home complex.

Well, there comes a time when beating your head against the wall 24/7 starts to seam like it might be a less than productive plan of action. She was completely unhinged and on antidepressants...again. They weren't working. I, quite frequently, awakened in the morning to the sweet greeting from my loving wife: “Burn in hell you m*ther f*cker!!!”

Now, lest you think I'm exaggerating for dramatic effect, let me assure you that those were her exact words at least on one occasion, but there were other very similar morning salutations on several different occasions. Keep in mind that I hadn't done anything but be in her presence when she woke up. This is one reason I will never touch antidepressants. I know they help some people, they also turn others into monsters. I won't roll that set of dice.

So, I think you can see how things were working out. I began having panic attacks with regularity about this time. The worst part was that I had no one to turn to except maybe my mother by phone. If I was full of anxiety, the best thing I could do is hide it from my “wife” or risk being ridiculed as a “drama queen.” Yes, it did seem that she was the devil.

I was drinking in earnest by now but it was only helping a little bit. Some weekends were O.K. because we would have friends over to visit, but most of the time I was miserable.

One night everything came to a head. I don't know what the argument was about, but we found ourselves standing in the kitchen. She was across from me next to the sink and the knife block. At some point during a particularly heated exchange, she flung something at me from directly in front of the knife block. The light was low at the time, so I couldn't see well, but it appeared to be a knife.

Honestly, I don't recall what it was, but it was not a knife. However, it hit me in the gut quite sharply and for a second I thought I had been stabbed. That was it. I totally collapsed in a heap and blubbered like a crazy person. This was not the kind of novelty I benefited from.

The fact that I was at the point that I considered it possible that my “wife” would throw a knife at me indicated I was in the wrong place. After a couple hours calming down, we went to bed. The next day we discussed the plan to separate...again.

Within a month we were on our way back to Colorado. Our (her) son was once again going to stay with grandma. I had issues with this, by the way. I still do, but that's another story.

We were to spend a week in Colorado and then I was to leave Tammy there to stay with her cousin (who originally stayed with us.) The plan was to spend at least a few months away from each other. As I saw it, a few months was a start at never, which was obviously the only real option.

And we'll continue this next time.

Don't forget to check out Panic Away to find out how to end panic attacks and anxiety permanently without drugs.  
Chris

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Anxiety and Novelty

Well, I can't say that writing about my ex wife right now is something I feel like doing, but I did say a few posts back that I would pick up the story.

Plus, this story holds a key to understanding why my panic attacks would come and go. So, here it goes...

After I left Colorado, got divorced and landed back in California, I had myself about one year of freedom. Right around that one year mark, however, I got a phone call. It was her. We'll call her Tammy to protect the guilty.

It turns out that her son had been staying with her mother who lived about two hours from me at the time. As it happens, Tammy was going to be taking the bus out from Colorado to pick him up. She planned to stay for awhile before returning so I don't think she had a plan to get back.

Well, we had had a few phone conversations prior that were amicable so I wasn't too surprised when she suggested that she take the bus to San Clemente and not Victorville and I could pick her up. That way we could spend a day or two “catching up” before I drove her to her Mom's place.

It's funny how when you haven't seen somebody for a year, their craziness doesn't seem so obvious. I actually liked here now. She seemed different, more like when we were first dating. Well, after a week, we had made plans to get out of the room I was renting and get our own place and then go get her son. Within three weeks from her arrival, we were a family again and had our own place.

Now, for the next year, I don't remember any panic attacks at all. Life had it's ups and downs, but I felt pretty good, anxiety-wise. Looking back, this is important. This is why...

For that one year, everything was an adventure; everything was new. My situation held a high degree of novelty. Even the more unpleasant aspects of my life like my stepson being the poster child for ADHD were new and exiting...well, new anyway.

I recall that when I first moved to Colorado, I was doing pretty good with my anxiety. Even during the earlier parts of the marriage that started to get unpleasant, I did begin drinking more, but in my mind, it wasn't to avoid panic attacks (though it might have helped with that anyway), it was just to not get in an argument and/or break something out of frustration.

So, looking back, times in my life filled with novelty are almost always times I was free from panic attacks and anxiety, even if I was under stress (there are a few exceptions). Once the novelty wears off, though, then I'd have an issue. Speaking of the novelty wearing off...

We were living in our first place for about a year when things started to fall back into the old ways. Her mental instability started becoming an issue. We stopped working as a team in dealing with her son's major issues. Just when it looked grim, an opportunity opened up.

My parents owned a nice condominium only a few miles from where we were renting. It had been occupied for years, but the lease was ending and we were getting a shot at it, cheap.

Granted the place we were in was on a cliff overlooking the beach, but we were in the “mother-in-law's” quarters on the back of the house, so we weren't loosing the view. The new place was twice as big and a real place of our own, not half a floor in someone else's house.

Upon making the move, everything seemed to get better again. True, we were more relaxed in a nicer, larger place, but I think the novelty factor had a lot to do with it for both of us.

Another year passed with relative peace, and then...It began to unravel.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Agoraphobia and Panic Attacks

Just recently I had a discussion with my Mom about her panic attacks.  It turns out that she has a few stories about panic attacks that really are stories of Agoraphobia. 

I asked her If she would like to contribute to my blog, and, as Moms tend to be, she was more than willing.

Here is her first response to me via email.....


You know, I've had panic attacks off and on for quite some time now. Honestly, when it first started, I wasn't really sure what was going on. I think my mother said that she had experienced something similar in her past. I have several sisters who also have experienced something similar. Until I got older, I didn't know what they were talking about.

As it turns out I did experience several episodes of panic, or anxiety, I guess. Until a got a little bit older I didn't really realize that what I was experiencing was fairly common. I also didn't realize what triggered it because it was relatively rare for me.

It turns out that I have a mild case of what is called Agoraphobia. I really don't know why I feel the way I do. I have dealt with crowds and traffic countless times over the decades, but on certain occasions, I have just freaked out.

One of my most ridiculous panic attacks:

I believe it was 1998. I was making a trip to Trader Joe's which has always been one of my favorite stores. Lots of goodies there. It's also always crowded, so it's not like there's ever a slow time. It also seems like the senior population has a particular affinity for the place. At any given time 75% of the shoppers are retirement age or over. It's an interesting phenomenon.

I got a cart and hugged the shelves as best I could to avoid the aisle traffic. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to avoid the inevitable... "Ouch!" I felt another cart jam into my Achilles tendon. From behind me, I heard a small voice say "excuse me" in an unconcerned tone. I turned around to see a rather small, rather old woman looking at me with glazed eyes.

"No big deal," I thought. That type of thing happens a lot in this place, but as I began to move forward towards the end of the isle, CRASH! Another cart rounding the end cap slammed into me. It was starting to feel a bit warm at this point and I thought it would be best if I went to the restroom and splashed my face with cold water.

After a few moments calming down in the restroom, I decided to give it another go. Upon exiting the restroom I was met nose to nose by a lady shopper trying to make her way in. "Why doesn't she back up and let me out before she tries to force yourself in?" I thought. We eventually squeezed by each other and I made my way back to my cart.

I now found that I was unable to maneuver with any effectiveness through the hordes moving about the Isles. I began to feel like everybody in the store was looking at me, like everyone knew I was on the verge of a panic attack. I made my way to the checkout and as I was waiting in line I noticed the sweat beginning to form on my forehead. My heart started pounding and everything started to go into slow motion. I remember grabbing my purse and screaming “Nooooooooo!” At the top of my lungs as I ran towards the exit.

Just outside the door, I threw myself down on the small but lush patch of grass as if I was trying to hang on to the earth so as not to be thrown off by the centrifugal force of its rotation. As I felt the coolness of the grass against me I began to calm down a bit. It was then that I realized what a spectacle I had just made of myself. This was disturbing, but was really nothing in the face of the relief I was feeling at the time.

After a few moments I picked myself up and tried to salvage any shreds of dignity I had left as the other shoppers filed past me trying not to pay me any attention. Fortunately my husband, who was visiting another store, returned just then and I made my escape.

Thankfully, these types of episodes didn't happen too often for me. When they did, though, they tended to be quite a sight to see, I'm sure.

Crowds and chaos usually make me a bit uneasy, but it's relatively uncommon for me to completely fly off the handle. I suppose there was a period there for about 10 years that it was particularly bad. I have been more or less O.K. Since about 2007, I guess.

Hope this can add some info for your blog. Love ya,

Mom